Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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