My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
