He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
