Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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