Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
