why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
