if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
