I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So many bounce houses so little time
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize