if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
