I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
