The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
