TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I want her autograph on my taint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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