This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
