Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
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He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
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This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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