Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
