WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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