3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
