Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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