Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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