i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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