So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize