We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
