i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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