Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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