No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
