seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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