That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
