somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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