so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We left the knife in your bed.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
