Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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