next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
