Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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