I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
