Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
