i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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