let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
