is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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