So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
