We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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