Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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