I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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