My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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