shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
