We won't sleep together?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
