I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
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I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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