Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
