I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
