is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
