My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
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I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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