I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
