We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
