bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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