I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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