Small penises have feelings too.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
