Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
